


extinguish my eyes (i'll go on seeing you)

by CarbonFootprint



Series: for your eyes only [1]
Category: Fire Emblem: If | Fire Emblem: Fates
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Blind!Takumi, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Falling In Love, Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, Insecurity, M/M, Revelations path, Spoilers for third path, Universe Alteration
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-04
Updated: 2016-04-04
Packaged: 2018-05-31 06:14:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,094
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6459067
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CarbonFootprint/pseuds/CarbonFootprint
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"The Fujin Yumi didn't make him strong, it drew his strength from him, channeled it in a weapon he could use to his advantage, and he found himself in it."</p><p>In which Takumi has been blind all his life, clinging to his yumi as his safety net while hiding from everyone but his siblings. It takes Prince Leo's presence in his life to change his perspective for the better.</p>
            </blockquote>





	extinguish my eyes (i'll go on seeing you)

**Author's Note:**

> okay okay okay so I was up rly late and I was thinking to myself because I'm horrible "dang what if one of the royal siblings was blind" and I was like "wait what if takumi was blind and he couldn't fight" and then I was like "aw heck no takumi would totally fight he's got a special bow" and THEN I was like "shit what if takumi is literally always depicted with the fujin yumi because he can't sEE without it" and then this was born 
> 
> i'm leokumi trash

The day the Fujin Yumi chose him was the first day Takumi could see in a sense.

 The world had been dark since his birth. His eyes would open but nothing would be there, just blackness, and evidentially it wasn't the same with everyone else. He relied on touch and taste and sound more than anything, but the Fujin Yumi gave him access to something he could only call sight for lack of a better word.

The word "blind" had been tossed around for as long as he could remember. Ryoma constantly used it, reminding him he needed to be more careful because he couldn't see. His mother used it in the sense that he _was_ blind, but he was no less of a prince of Hoshido or her son.

It was usually associated with him in a negative connotation outside his family. The little blind prince, the weak blind prince, the helpless blind prince. He heard it all in whispers and shushed conversations.

He never really thought about it much though. He didn't know what it was like to see so he didn't think it was important for him. He memorized the halls of the castle with his hands and feet and ears, learning the walls and floors and tables and chairs with ease. He knew where the kitchen was from the smell of it wafting through the area. He could find Ryoma from his deep, booming voice, Hinoka from the sounds of metal clashing with metal, Azura from the soft sounds of her singing, and Sakura he could feel. Her presence was something different, a gentle aura that he always knew when it was there.

He didn't realize his own shortcoming until the first time he grasped the Fujin Yumi and color exploded in front of his eyes. He had dropped the bow immediately, panting hard at the sensation. His head seared and he squeezed his eyes shut against it. His entire head had felt like it was on fire, burning with images bathed in bright blue and startling white.

He had shakily picked up the bow again and once more the same thing happened, but he held on that time because his curiosity got the better of his fears.

The first place he "saw" was that training yard. He had been alone, left alone with the weapon that chose him, a weak, blind prince, over those far more capable. Almost everything was still dark, but it seemed living things burned bright blue and white in his mind. He saw the grass, each delicate blade highlighted and traced in blue, the trees blowing in the wind, cherry blossom petals swirling as gentle white shards in the air. He took a breath then and felt as if he was living for the first time. The Fujin Yumi gave him sight and freedom and power he couldn't have ever dreamed of before, and in that it gave him life.

The Fujin Yumi didn't make him strong, it drew his strength from him, channeled it in a weapon he could use to his advantage, and he found himself in it.

He practiced with the Fujin Yumi every day after it chose him, slinging bright blue arrows into targets and trees and even into a few small birds. He found that he rather enjoyed hunting and was taken with the sport, even though Ryoma refused to let him wander deeper into the hunting glades on the castle grounds.

The Fujin Yumi rarely left his side after that. He slept with it within arm's reach. It sat across his lap at dinner with his siblings. He kept it strung across his back whenever they journeyed anywhere. It was his safety net, his eyes, his sight, and after a while he knew he would be lost without it.

Eventually he told Ryoma of what the bow did for him and he saw bright tears gather in the lines of Ryoma's eyes. He realized then that Ryoma never thought he was weak. Ryoma just wanted to protect him, and he was proud of him, proud that he had grown into someone who could protect rather than have to be protected always.

Not everyone was as kind as his own siblings. Hoshidans in the army still regarded him as the little blind prince who had gotten lost in the woods when he was only six years old and an entire search party had been sent out to look for him. That day had been one of his worse memories. He had gone out looking for Ryoma only to get lost in the trees. Eventually he had tripped on a gnarled root, scrapped both his knees and the palms of his hands, and had sat crying softly in the dark until people came to find him.

Hinata was different from others in the army though. He was jubilant and bubbly, headstrong and fearless in nature, his smile a bright white cast by the Fujin Yumi in Takumi's eyes. He wasn't afraid to challenge Takumi to a duel, and he wasn't afraid to smile and laugh after he had lost with his full strength. With his bow across his back, Takumi had started training with the sword as well. Ryoma had helped him, shown him how to move and thrust with a sword and had commented that he was a natural with it, just like their father. He’d much rather stay with his bow, but he still wished to be adept in other weapons if only to prove himself further.

When it came to the decision of naming a retainer, Hinata had been an easy choice. He idolized Takumi rather than looking down on him. He was strong and loud and adventurous, and he quickly became Takumi's closest friend.

Oboro was different.

He had met Oboro when they were children, naive and small, and Oboro had been unwavering in her dislike of him. Her parents had been designing kimonos for the royal family and Oboro had come along. Now though it seemed that dislike had stemmed from the the folly of childhood fancy.

Takumi had disliked her as much as she disliked him. She was an obnoxious little thing except when her parents were around. Takumi heard of her tragedy years later, the assassination of her parents and her new position as an orphan in a country that was slowly gaining more and more parentless children.

She grew strong though, as Takumi had, and when he witnessed her strength in a practice among some of the army's best lancers, her silhouette illuminated in bright white light among those where we're only cloaked in blue, he requested that she join him. It turned out well for all of them really. Oboro knew how to keep Hinata in line, and she knew his own comforts when it came to his sight. She was bossy with the maids, but secretly kind and reverent of him. She was a friend, and Takumi appreciated her as he appreciated all his family.

He didn't appreciate Nohr.

The notion that Nohrian filth seemed to think they could take Hoshidan land for their own and send their faceless monsters to assault their land and kill their people; it was disgusting and vile, and Takumi knew he had to train harder, to master his weapon and overcome any shortcomings his blindness could cause. Even when Ryoma vowed there wouldn't be war anytime soon, Takumi could hear the hesitant lie and fear in his voice. Even when his mother urged that he wouldn't be fighting in any such war, he knew he would have to in the future.

He would not just sit idle and let his other siblings fight in a war he was seen as too fragile for. He was bestowed with a sacred weapon and he would use it to bring their enemies to their knees. The Fujin Yumi wasn't just some crutch to help him through life. It was a weapon. It made him lethal and capable and strong, and he would use it for the glory of Hoshido.

* * *

 

He knew Ryoma by his voice, Hinoka by her fighting, Azura by her singing, and Sakura by her grace.

He had known Corrin by her laugh.

That was so long ago, before she had been stolen away from their family. It took him years to get the truth out of Ryoma; King Garon had killed their father and taken his sister away.

He hated Nohr for that. He hated them, and he hated them even more when Corrin returned to them.

They had kept her from them, hidden her away and raised her as their own. They were truly despicable.

But Corrin loved them, and Corrin loved Hoshido too, so much so that she refused to fight either of them.

She made her own destiny and-

And Takumi felt like he had as well. He was never supposed to see, never supposed to be able to make out the images of his siblings or of the world. He defied that fate as Corrin defied her own.

He followed her because he loved her, and he would stand with her even if she had her infuriating Nohrian siblings in her side. Her youngest sister wasn't bad, a little loud and too rambunctious, but she bonded with Sakura. Her older sister was intimidating, but she was only that way out of love, and Takumi felt a kinship with that notion.

Prince Leo, on the other hand, was a nuisance.

Takumi’s bow projected the other prince in a way he had never seen someone before, a deep blue aura highlighted in white light. He had been entranced by the image for Prince Leo at first, but then the Nohrian Mage had opened his mouth to speak and he had been insufferable. He had a nice voice, deep and smooth, but his words were ugly and often times sneered out and Takumi despised the very sound.

Eventually, he was on speaking terms with Prince Leo. They had far more in common than Takumi had originally thought, but he refused to believe they were friends, allies was difficult enough to believe.

They were ambushed by the invisible warriors from the hidden kingdom often, and while the foes were hard for everyone else to see, Takumi found it ironic that for once his siblings were blind to the enemy to an extent.

The Fujin Yumi still showed him the enemy, shadowy silhouettes of foes that didn't belong in their world.

A new bout of the invisible warriors had been nearly dispatched by their small army, but suddenly several more slipped out of nothingness around Takumi, surrounding him. He fired an arrow into one of them, sending it falling to the ground. Before he could fire again, an axe swiped up, catching the Fujin Yumi and pulling it from his grip, sending it flinging away across the battlefield.

All at once, everything was dark, disorientated, and he was completely blind again. His breath caught in his throat as he spun around to the sound of a sword being drawn. He had no weapon, nothing by his hands that wouldn't be effective at all against invisible enemies.

A sword caught him so close to his neck that he felt the shift in the air as it sliced down across his shoulder and down his chest. He cried out, staggering back only for an axe to swipe across his back, tearing through his clothes and into his flesh. He felt the ground under him as he fell, gasping in pain. He was going to die here, grasping for his bow in the dark, blind and weak and useless as people had always said he was.

Magic erupted around him and he heard the enemies being defeated. Someone had saved him. He didn't know who. His Fujin Yumi wasn't in his hands. When he opened his eyes he only saw blackness. He heard a horse coming closer to him and a rider dismounting in a hurry.

"Prince Takumi!" That was Leo's voice. It had been Prince Leo's magic that had saved him. He felt a hand on his shoulder, shifting him onto his back. He kept his eyes closed so it wouldn't be so obvious that he was staring at nothing. He was already on the ground and wounded; to seem even weaker would be humiliating.

He was in pain. He could feel blood gathering under his clothes, sticky and wet against his skin. He had never felt that much of his own blood before and it was terrifying. There was pressure on his chest, Leo's hands he presumed, pressing against the wounds to try and stop the blood from seeping further.

"Takumi!" Ryoma's voice was a roar in his ears and he felt his brother kneel besides him on the ground. In a second, he was lifted into Ryoma's arms, shaking and gasping at the pain the movement caused, "Sakura! Quickly!" Ryoma called for their younger sister to heal him. He had never heard Ryoma's voice that urgent and filled with fear, and he felt awful for forcing his brother into that mental state.

Consciousness slipped from him as he was being healed, and in that moment he put all his faith in his sister that she would save him.

When he next awoke, he reached to his side and felt his Fujin Yumi there. In a second, light rushed back into his eyes and he breathed a shaky sigh of relief. He was in a medical tent, bandages wrapped around his chest and back, his hair loose and spilling over his shoulders and across the pillow. He was alive. Injured, but still alive. He could see again. The Fujin Yumi was his safety net, his guide through life. Without it, he was terrified of the dark.

He laid there on the cot in the tent for a while, drifting in and out of sleep before the entrance to the tent shifted. He grasped his Fujin Yumi tightly, pushing himself up a bit on the cot with his other arm, a slightly tremble to his entire body at the pain that traveled everywhere from his chest and back.

"So you're awake then," Leo's voice came as he entered the tent, "You've been passed out for nearly a day now." There was exasperation and there was relief in his voice. Takumi couldn't tell which was stronger.

"Yeah," he finally got out, "You- it was your magic, wasn't it? That hel- that saved me?" He wouldn't mince words here. Leo had saved his life. He would have been dead without the mage's intervention.

"You're damn right I was," Leo scoffed and Takumi felt himself recoil a bit, "You were an idiot. You got yourself cornered, lost your weapon, and then just floundered there as if you couldn't do anything! What, you couldn't call for help? Don't you have at least a knife stashed in that fur you wear? Gods, Takumi. You are an idiot!"

Takumi opened his mouth to protest but he couldn't find the right thing to say. Leo was correct in all his harsh words. He had completely frozen in the battle. His bow had been knocked away, crippling him to a point that he hadn't been able to breathe. It had been the most terrifying experience he'd ever had in a fight, and he had to be saved by Leo and Ryoma.

So he took Leo's words and buried them all in his heart. They were true after all. They outlined his weakness, jabbed at his fears and insecurities, and they were right and honest.

"You're right," he said quietly, "I was a fool."

"Huh," Leo breathed out, moving to sit gingerly on the edge of the cot, "I didn't think you'd give in that easily. I figured you would be yelling at me."

"But you're right. I was a fool, and- and it won't happen again." He gripped his bow tightly in his hand, his eyes narrowing as he stared down at his own lap. No, he wouldn't be caught in that position again. He wouldn't fall prey to the enemy again, "Thank you for- for helping me though. I am in your debt."

"Just don't do it again," Leo scoffed, standing from the cot, "And hurry up and heal. Your brother refuses to continue on until you're without a scratch." He ducked out of the tent then, leaving Takumi alone with his thoughts.

With Leo gone, Takumi eased his grip on the bow in his lap, letting the images in front of his eyes fade away. Even if Leo sounded cross and angry, Takumi's hearing was better than most. There had been care in his voice along with worry. The other prince was just too proud to show it, and Takumi knew he would be the same.

* * *

 

After the slip up in that battle, Takumi trained himself harder whenever they set up camp. He set aside his Fujin Yumi in favor of a regular bow sometimes just to make sure he wasn't too dependent on the sacred regalia. His dreams had become fixed on that fight, featuring invisible enemies slicing into him, laughing as he scrambled around blindly to get away. The scars on his chest and back ached whenever he woke up from a dream like that, and he would find himself training in the dark until sunrise.

Leo slowly became more of a friend to him. They ate together every day, discussed books and training and their families. Leo was a lot more like him than he knew, but he still couldn't tell him about his sight. Leo was strong and smart, a genius by most standards, but Takumi hid his handicap well, and he was confident that Leo hadn't caught on and would never catch on.

They won the war eventually. The evil contained in the heart of Valla was destroyed.

They could all go home, go back to their lives and their kingdoms but with new bonds they hadn't had before.

"You can put your bow down now." Leo's voice entered the room he was in at home, Castle Shirasagi. The Nohrians had stayed with them for Ryoma's coronation before they were to head home that day, "The war is over, Takumi." There was a teasing tone to Leo's voice and Takumi felt him coming up behind him, resting a hand on his shoulder.

"I can't," he blurted out before he could stop himself. The war was over and- and Leo deserved to know. They were friends rather than foes, maybe even closer than mere friendship.

"You can't what?" Leo asked, raising an eyebrow.

"I can't- I can't be without Fujin Yumi," Takumi's voice left him quiet and small and he felt Leo's concern before he saw it on his face. Leo's eyes were imploring him for more, narrowing and asking for an explanation, "The thing is- I can't see." He forced the words from his throat. He had never told anyone that. He had never admitted it out loud even to himself. He was blind, he couldn't see. The Fujin Yumi made him see, "I'm blind, Leo."

"And you can only see when-"

"When I'm connected with my yumi," Takumi finished quietly, his grip on the bow in his hand lax, fading some of the images projected into his eyes so he wouldn't have to see whatever emotion lurked in Leo's eyes.

"You're... You're blind," Leo said slowly, his hand slipping from Takumi's shoulder, "So when I- when I yelled at you for- for being cornered in that battle you... You had lost your bow, and you could not even see the enemies around you?" His voice was quizzical, but dripping with shock and disbelief. Takumi forced himself to give a tiny nod, swallowing hard.

"I- I yelled at you," Leo continued slowly, his voice shaking on the first syllables as realization came over him, "Gods, I- Takumi, I was so cruel to you. I- I looked down on you for that battle for the longest time." That admission hurt like a punch to the gut and Takumi felt himself flinch only for Leo to force him to turn towards him and face him, "Don't do that. It's me, not you," Leo admonished, "I'm the one who should feel badly about this."

"Why you?" Takumi whispered, "I kept this from you. I endangered myself and the entire army. Only- only my siblings know, and I think Corrin forgot after she was taken away."

"No, no, you didn't," Leo hushed him, "I should be apologizing."

"No you shouldn't!" Takumi snapped, his voice raising, "It's my problem and now I even burdened you with it! What have you to be sorry for?"

"For treating you like you were a fool!" Leo countered, "I was wrong! I was cruel to you! I yelled at you that day and- and I shouldn't have!"

"Why not? I deserved it!"

"Because you don't just do those things to the people you love!" Leo finally shouted.

There was silence between them after that, tense and filled with fear and shock. Takumi couldn't speak, his mouth slightly agape but no words would come out.

"I should go," Leo said quietly, pulling away from Takumi. He wanted to reach for Leo, to pull him back close and hold him and kiss him and tell him he felt the same. Instead, Leo left the room in a rush, leaving Takumi standing there with his heart pounding in his chest.

Leo loved him.

He loved Leo too, he realized. But Leo was gone now.

He wanted Leo to come back.

The next two weeks were agonizing for Takumi. They were set to travel to Nohr for Xander's own coronation and the wait seemed far longer than just two weeks. He contemplated writing a letter to the other prince, but he was never very good at getting his feeling out in writing. He would have to wait and see Leo to truly tell him how to felt.

They travelled to Nohr finally after two weeks, arriving at the dark castle in the capital. Leo was waiting for them with his siblings, but his eyes refused to meet Takumi's. He clenched his fist around his bow and decided to ignore the other prince too if that was how he wanted to be.

He exchanged very few words with anyone that night before going to the quarters they had given him to sleep it. Nohrian rooms were strange with heavy slamming doors and stone walls. It was truly a bizarre set up, but Takumi was too tired from the travel to bother worrying about it. He could explore more of the castle in the morning.

When morning does come, he kept a death grip on Fujin Yumi, holding the bow tightly at his side. Castle Krakenburg was foreign and strange and he knew if he were to get lost, he wouldn't want it to be without his bow.

He figured he was somewhere near the kitchens when Leo's voice sounded behind him, "You're not lost, are you, Prince Takumi?"

He turned quickly, and Leo materialized in front of him with the aid of his bow, all deep blue and white light. The sight was calming and familiar, and Takumi would never admit to anyone but himself that he missed the other prince.

"Leo," he said quietly, leaving the title off the other boy's name because they were so far beyond that in truth, "N-no, I'm not lost, I assure you." His grip tightened on his bow as he spoke, holding it tighter to his side.

"Of course you aren't," Leo said softly, his eyes on Takumi's hand around his bow, "Takumi, I- I wanted to- to speak with you about our last encounter."

"I wished to talk as well," Takumi smiled, hope surging through him. He could finally tell Leo what he had been wanted to tell him for weeks, "You first then."

"Alright," Leo cleared his throat, "I wanted to apologize. It was not right of me to say those things to you. I- I value you as a friend, Takumi, and I would not want to ruin the budding friendship between our nations with unrequited feelings. I promise you that the words I spoke were more of a- a lapse in judgment in the heat of the moment, if you will. I was shocked to learn about your blindness and I suppose I felt- protective in a way because I value you as a close friend. I would ask that you disregard what was said between us that day. It was foolish and it- it won't happen again." Takumi stared at him, no doubt his face holding the same expression of disbelief as he did when Leo had said he loved him. Now though, now Leo was taking the feelings back, erasing them as if they had never happened.

"I-" he choked out, coughing to clear the dryness in his throat, "I- I wouldn't have it any other way." He wondered briefly if Leo could tell by his face that his heart was breaking, but Leo was looking down and away from him. Suddenly, all he wanted was to go home, to return to Hoshido and never come back to Nohr.

"I'll see you at the coronation tonight then," Leo said before he turned away, "Try not to get lost in the kitchens."

* * *

 

The coronation was as long and tiring as Ryoma's was in Hoshido, except the tables are filled with strange Nohrian dishes rather than the Hoshidan food he was used to. He eventually found some of the soup Leo he always talked about and eaten that. It was good, but it would've been better if Leo had been there to share it with him. It seemed the other prince was back to ignoring him, even if they had apparently fixed what he never been wrong in the first place.

Takumi feel asleep that night tired and a bit hungry, vowing to find his way back to the kitchens the next day for something he could identify before he ate it.

When he woke up the next morning and reached out to grasp his bow, only empty sheets greeted him and shock flooded through him. He couldn't sense the bow's presence in the room either. It hadn't fallen to the ground; it had been taken, probably by a unsuspecting maid. He dressed hurriedly because he could at least do that without his sight. He tied his hair up and was about to leave the room and find his bow when he froze. He couldn't go out into the halls alone. He would get lost or run into someone, revealing his helplessness to others.

He had to go out though. He couldn't remain trapped in the room until someone came to find him. Hesitantly, he stepped into the hallway. He figured it was too early for other people to be awake and roaming the halls so that was good at least.

He tried to find his way outside to where the weapons were stored, but he found himself completely lost within a few minutes. His breath was already catching in his throat as he rounded the fourth- or was it the fifth- random corner. He was lost and confused and quickly starting to panic. His body refused to move anymore as his chest heaved for air. He practically fell against a wall, sliding the ground and burying his head in his knees as he tried to breathe.

He was lost.

He was alone.

He couldn't see.

He was helpless and useless and weak and-

"Takumi?" A voice called his name but he was too deep in the panic to even look up and register. Someone was coming closer to him, kneeling in front of him, "Takumi, hey... Are you alright?"

He wanted to speak, to say he was fine, but he wasn't fine. He was terrified and lost and he wanted to breathe and he wanted-

"Takumi, please, just breathe, okay?" He finally registered the voice and he snapped his head up, reaching out to grab onto Leo's arms. Leo leaned into him, wrapping his arms around him to bring him closer, "Breathe for me, okay? It's alright, Takumi. I'm here. I won't let you be alone without- I won't you be alone, okay?"

He nodded slowly because Leo's words make so much sense. Slowly, he caught his breath, helped by the gentle fingers stroking through his hair and the strong arms holding him.

"Leo," he gasped out the other prince's name when he could finally speak again, "Leo."

"Are you alright now?"

"I- I'm okay, I'm- I'll be fine."

"Good," he could hear the smile in Leo's voice, "Let's go find your bow, okay? It's probably with the other weapons. I'll help you there." He slowly stood, still holding tightly to Leo's arm. Leo did him one better, wrapping an arm close and tight around his back, keeping him pressed to his side.

They find his bow. It was easy for Leo to find it, and a hurried breath left Takumi's chest when he finally held it again. Leo had a smile on his lips, but a sad look in his eyes, and Takumi suddenly had to taste the blue and white light that made up Leo's lips. He stepped closer to Leo, reaching up to cup his cheek, "Thank you for helping me." He kissed Leo then, leaning up to press his lips to the taller Prince's. It took a moment for Leo is react, but when he did he kissed back, one of his arms slipping around Takumi's waist to hold him closer.

"You're the one who was a fool this time, Prince Leo," he murmured against the other boy's lips when they part.

"Why's that?" Leo asked out and Takumi felt his breath warm on his own lips.

"Because I love you too, and you were silly enough to believe that I didn't. And you gave me an entire speech trying to prove that you didn't love me when it was so obvious, and I didn't even have to see it to believe it."

"Takumi," Leo smiled against his lips, and Takumi didn't need his bow to know that so he dropped it to the ground, wrapping his arms around Leo as he kissed him again. His eyes were closed as they were supposed to during a kiss. That was the only kind of darkness he would tolerate and only when Leo was there to chase it away.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading ;u; Any comments and kudos are mightily appreciated! <3 I may add a second chapter of something more ~mature~ rated later
> 
> Find me on tumblr at carbonfootprintao3.tumblr.com (it's literally brand new ok)


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